His Strength is Perfect

If there is one thing I have learned in this adoption process, it is that I am a weak, weak person.  I've been told more times than I care to count to "stay strong".  Honestly, I wish there hadn't even been one occasion for someone to say this to me, but, unfortunately, there have been many.  And, the fact is, it is impossible for me to stay strong when I was never there in the first place.

This was never more true than today.  If you read our last post, you know that our regional MOWA letter was obtained and that the next step was to get our federal MOWA approval.  We knew that we could get that letter last Thursday or later this week.  However, the rules have been changed on us yet again. 

Today, instead of getting the news that our federal approval had made it to court, we were told that the federal MOWA has chosen not to write our letter at this time.  Apparently, due to the number of orphanage closures in our region, the federal MOWA is requiring additional documentation from our region to show that the orphanage {that Bek was in SIX MONTHS AGO} is still accredited.

There is no reason to believe that there is an accreditation issue, but I would be lying if I denied that fear and doubt are stronger tonight than they have ever been in this whole process.  The truth is, it's simply another frustrating delay.  More time for our baby to sit in an orphanage while we are desperate to have him home.

When I received this news today, I was devastated.  I cried out to God for strength, because, frankly, I cannot do it on my own.  I am consumed with frustration, sadness, longing, helplessness, and weakness.

In response to my cries, God gave me this old CeCe Winans' song as a promise that in my weakness, He is strong:

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength
But sometimes I wonder what he can do for me
No great success to show
No glory of my own
yet in my weakness he is there to let me know

(chorus)
His strength is perfect when our strength is gone
He'll carry us when we can't carry on
Raised in his power the weak becomes strong
His strength is perfect
His strenght is perfect

We can only know that power that he holds
When we truly see how deep our weakness goes
His strength it must begin
When ours comes to an end
He hears our humble cry and proves again
source 

I am so thankful for my Savior.  Tonight, when it truly feels like I can't carry on, I can rest knowing that His arms are carrying me.