14 Months

Fourteen months and ten days ago, Trevor and I decided to take a leap of faith and enter into the adoption journey by placing our names on a waiting list with His Hands Taiwan.  Since that time, there have been so many mountains and valleys, twists and turns, highs and lows.  But, the one thing that has remained constant is the faithfulness of our Father.

Psalm 33:4

For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does.

We hold strong to the FACT that this adoption is God-ordained and that it will happen perfectly and in His time.

That being said, I want to use this post as an outlet for where I'm at regarding my thoughts about our adoption.  I've been somewhat up and down emotionally.  It seems like every time I turn around, the MOWYCA in Ethiopia is changing something procedurally (at least according to what we read or are told) or we are feeling called to change our preference or there are no referrals or there is a huge boom of referrals.  While some of the change is positive, it still is change and with change comes uncertainty.  Not uncertainty about if this is right for our family (we have NO doubt that it is), just uncertainty about when it will happen for us and how long it might take.

Throughout the process, I have tried to compare it to my pregnancies.  It's strange, really...in some ways it is easier: no morning (or afternoon or evening!) sickness, more energy, no constant paranoia that something I'm doing or eating is going to have long-term ramifications on the baby.  But, in another way, it is SO. MUCH. HARDER!  Our next child(ren) is constantly on my mind...where are they?  what are they doing?  are they being taken care of?  who is caring for them?  This leg of the journey can only loosely be compared to the months that we were waiting to get pregnant.  Each month, I'd hold my breath and think "could this be the month?!"  With adoption, I am feeling that every. single. day.  Whew!  It's a little exhausting!

I also can't help but think that with each of my two children, it was 14 months from deciding to have a baby to holding each of them in my arms (5 months waiting to get pregnant and 9 months pregnant).  Perhaps that's why I'm feeling slightly melancholy.  14 months is a milestone in our lives.

But, let me end with this...we are so thankful and so blessed to be on this journey.  God is stretching us and changing us and we are becoming closer and closer to Him every step of the way.  We are so thankful that while we don't know the answers, our Heavenly Father does.  He's got our kids...all of them...in His hands.

We are so blessed!