Saturday, August 13, 2011

Some Adoption Misconceptions {via a 4 year old}

Oh, our children...

C and M on our way to Cow Appreciation Day at CFA

When we first started talking about adoption in November of 2009, we decided to be completely open with our kids about what was going on.  After all, adding a child/children to our family will be a huge adjustment not just for the two of us, but for the whole family.  We have been open about the way our family dynamics will change and have spoken to them about race and other issues that will inevitably arise. 

Miss Melia, well, she gets it.  I know there will be lots of things that will come up for her when the adoption is complete, but she knows what she will say when someone says {for example} "That kid's not your brother, he's black."  She plans to respond "Yes, he is, we adopted him from Africa."

She also understands that we will get a referral, wait for a couple of months, go "visit" our child, come home, and then go back to bring him/her home with us.  She gets it.

Camden, on the other hand, not so much.  He really hadn't said much about it {except in every. single. prayer.} until recently, when two hilarious misconceptions came out, as follows:

Misconception #1: EVERY child is adopted.

Melia and Camden are in the middle seats of my soccer mom mini-van on the way home from swimming one afternoon.  Melia suddenly says to me, "Mommy, Camden wants to play together and I want us to play alone...which should we do?" to which I respond "You should play together...that's why God gave you to each other."
Having not gotten the answer she wanted, she groans "Mommy!" while Camden attempts to explain:
"That's right...God said 'Camden and Melia, I am giving you to Trevor and Jennifer to play together.'  And then we were adopted!
{Of course, it was a good opportunity to explain that I am their birth mommy and their forever mommy and that their siblings will have a different birth mommy, and I will be their forever mommy, but SERIOUSLY?!}

Misconception #2: I will give birth to our adopted child.

I took Camden shopping today and at one of the stores, there is a play area for kids so he is playing with another boy who is probably 6 years old.  They introduce themselves to each other and then I hear him telling the other boy "I am going to have a baby brother.  Well, we don't know if it's a boy or girl."  The lady who works there is grinning at him and then up at me and I feel the need to quickly explain that we are adopting.
As we are exiting the store, I tell him that he should tell people that we are adopting when he is talking about his new brother or sister so that no one thinks I have a baby in my belly.  He replies "so, when we know if it's a brother or sister, then the baby will be in your belly?"  OH. MY. "No, buddy," I say, "the baby won't ever be in my belly."
So, after some thought he says "So, is Jesus gonna put him to us?"
After explaining about how his daddy and I will go pick the baby up in Africa, he seems to understand...
we shall see!

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